All Her Exes Were Not From Texas

All her exes were not from Texas.  They were most likely from her home town of Samaria.  All five of them. I’m thinking of this Sunday’s (March 27^th) Gospel lesson—the encounter at the well between Jesus and the Samaritan woman.  Many remember this story and the meta-communication as Jesus and the woman talked.  She came for water; Jesus offered her water, but not the potable kind.  I think she finally got it, but she kept the verbal game going.  And so did Jesus, until her thirst was quenched.

I once stole a sermon about this story from Dr. James Forbes.  Well, I re-imagined his thoughts and spun my own story about the woman’s return to Samaria to tell about this most amazing rabbi, Jesus, “…the man who told me everything I have ever done.”

She went back to Samaria, and the first person she told about her encounter with Jesus was her first husband.  They were so very young when they married, and he was so very cute.  But she found that “cute doesn’t last.”  And she wandered…and wandered…until the marriage eroded, and she left her cute husband for someone cuter.  She, now forgiven and understood by Jesus, sought forgiveness and understanding from her first husband, still cute, but with thinning hair and a bulging middle.  “He forgave me; he accepted me.  Will you?  I’m so sorry, but we were so young and immature.  Please forgive my unfaithfulness.”

Although it was painful for her, she located her second husband.  There were many bad memories…many.  He had seemed so mature, kind, and understanding.  The first time it happened, she brushed it off.  Just a bad day.  He simply lost control.  It really didn’t hurt that much.  A glancing blow with some minor bruising.  But it happened again and again and again.  Finally, she summoned the courage to leave him.  She would not be abused again.  She, now forgiven and understood by Jesus, wanted to forgive her second husband.  “He forgave me.  I forgive you.  Will you accept my forgiveness?”

Her third husband was quite old by now.  He was much older than she when they married.  She had been abused. This time she wanted to be taken care of, and he had the means to do so quite well.  Although there was quite an age difference, his money made up for it.  Yes, why not, she thought…why not marry for security and money and the comforts money can buy?  But he got older, and soon the money didn’t make up for whatever it was she was missing.  So…she left him, and through some sly manipulation took a lot of his wealth with her.  As she approached him, he barely recognized her with his failing eyesight, but he remembered her voice.  She, now forgiven and understood by Jesus, begged the elderly ex-husband’s forgiveness.  He gave it freely.  They both rejoiced.

She was not surprised to learn that her fourth husband was on his third wife.  He seemed so sincere and committed when they married, but she began to sense the distance between them.  She tried to stay close, but he drifted farther and farther away.  All the way into the affections of another.  So, she left him.  And she had never forgiven him for his unfaithfulness.  But it was different now.  She, now forgiven and understood, wanted to forgive her fourth husband.  “I forgive you.  Whether you need my forgiveness or not, I forgive you.  I, who am forgiven, forgive you.”

She finally found her fifth husband.  Since their divorce, he had tried to keep to himself, avoiding the inquiring public.  When they married, he was kind, understanding, warm.  He listened to her, and he accepted her failings and limitations.  She thought it odd that he didn’t seem interested in physical affection, but she never insisted.  It became no real surprise to her when he confessed that although he had a male’s body, that was about all.  He left her for another man.  Although not surprised, she suffered public humiliation.  She needed to forgive all three of them for not being honest.  She, now forgiven and understood by Jesus, said to her gay ex-husband, “He accepts you as he accepts me.  Just as you are.  He expects nothing of you but to consider his acceptance. He welcomes you into his presence and his life.”

And, as the scripture records, “Many Samaritans from that city believed in him because of the woman’s testimony, ‘He told me everything I have ever done’” (John 4:39).